Finding Home

 

Back.  Again.

These past few months have been life changing.  Many ups and downs, good memories and bad, made new friends, and lost old.  Over the past 10 months, I have found myself. I finally decided that it was time to take a look at my life to make sure that I am headed in the right direction. Best decision of my 24 years.   I now know who I am and what I want.  This was no easy task.  The real, raw  You is a hard thing to face and come to terms with.  Realizing your good traits is easy, but coming to terms with your bad is a challenge all in its own.  This decision led to many other unexpected things.  I found new hobbies like yoga and cake decorating.  I read more.  I like to spend more time alone.  I am closer with my best friends which I never thought was possible.  I lead a healthier, mostly gluten free lifestyle.  I can talk about my feelings and understand others better.  I have become a better listener.  Over all, I am happy.  Really happy.  I have come to recognize that I am independent, I am a leader, I am a lady with poise and etiquette, I excel under pressure, I am opinionated and I stand up for myself.  I have a backbone and I will not let anyone take advantage of me or try to control my life.  Through the help of my friends, I have found out that I have become wiser and I can give really good advice if the time comes.  That was the best realization of all.

Then there are the bad qualities but I have discovered the positive in them.  I like to run away.  Either from pain, life or boredom.  If any of those things decide to linger around too long then I am gone.  The most beautiful places are discovered when you don’t know where you are going.  I am indecisive.  When it comes to where I live, my career choice, what to wear and even what I should buy from the grocery store.  I feel like I should give everywhere and everything a try before I have to make up my mind.  You never know how good something can be unless you give it a chance.   

All of these traits keep life interesting.  They give me many new opportunities and make me excited for the new day.  Who knows where I will end up but I feel like it is all about the journey.  I may disappear for awhile, but I will never get lost and I will always find my way back.